Chapter Notes: Module 12

PSYC 200 Chapter Notes

 Chapter 7: Emerging and Early Adulthood (pages 249-275)

Beginning on page 249, the focus is on cognitive development in early adulthood and the changes from adolescent thought processes.  The suggestion of a fifth, postformal stage to Piaget’s model and the concept of dialectical thought (as opposed to dichotomies) is very intriguing. 

Following a brief section on education and the benefits of a college degree, is information about careers and work, you may recall from other courses, John Holland’s well-known view of matching personality type with a particular career. His model is based on six personality types:  realistic, investigative, artistic, social, enterprising, and conventional. 

I’ll offer a non-technical distinction about careers and work.  My sense is that there are three ways to approach your work.  You get a job to pay your bills.  You pursue a career to advance professionally.  You have a sense of calling, to follow your passions and interests.  Frederick Beuchner talked about “calling” as a place where your deep gladness and the world’s great need meet.  I believe some of the most effective and influential people in the world are those who approach what they do every day—not as a job or a career, but as a calling.  I wonder what you might be called to do to make the world a better place?

Though not given much attention, the topics of sexism and occupational sexism are important and timely subjects to consider.  After material related to temperament and personality, this chapter connects the continuity of a key concept in childhood and adulthood:  attachment.  Some studies suggest a correlation between secure attachment between parent and young child with securely attached romantic relationships when the child enters early adulthood.

Attraction, friendship, love and lifestyles

I hope you enjoy the section of the chapter beginning on page 261 dealing with attraction, friendship, love and lifestyles.  Though the facts do not reflect a fanciful fantasy about how love develops, it makes sense that we develop relationships with those who are closest to us in proximity and who share similar values and attitudes.  Regarding the pull of physical attractiveness, the “matching hypothesis” seems to suggest that we generally choose someone who is close to our own level of attractiveness.  I would add to the discussion on friendship the observations by researcher Paul Davis who identified 8 qualities of friendship:  enjoyment, acceptance, trust, respect, mutual support, confiding, understanding, and honesty.

Looking at love, Figure 7.22 summarizes Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love, with the different combinations of intimacy, passion and commitment.  In Sternberg’s view, the strongest, most complete type of love is consummate love because it includes all three components.  I encourage you to also review two other approaches to understanding the development of love and ways to discuss the various types of love.  Ira Reiss is well-known for his “Wheel theory of love” and John Lee discusses 6 styles of love.  The “Wheel theory of love” depicts the development of love as a spinning wheel consisting of four spokes, each of which drives the others to as the wheel spins forward. The spokes are:  rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependency, and fulfillment of the need for intimacy.  If you feel a sense of rapport with someone, you are likely to reveal more about yourself to each other which builds mutual dependency and finally a deep fulfillment of intimacy needs.  One interesting point about this model is that relationships, like wheels, can spin in reverse, as well as forward.  A reduction in any one of the four spokes affects the development of the relationship.  In other words, we can “fall out of love.”  If you begin to feel less rapport and comfort with someone, then you will reveal fewer thoughts and feelings which will decrease the mutual dependence and lessen the fulfillment of intimacy needs. 

John Lee uses six Greek words to present various types of love.  Here is a Wikipedia link to learn more about Lee’s styles of love:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles Links to an external site.

On another topic, my sense is that we haven’t learned how to “break up” well. Here are a few suggestions for how to break up peacefully:  Acknowledge that the relationship is over; don’t delay the inevitable(once you decide to break up, break up); deliver the news personally (no e-mails or sending a messenger to break up for you); schedule an appropriate place and time; be firm, decisive and honest (don’t back down or be manipulated into staying in the relationship); remember the positive parts of the relationship; give the other person the opportunity for closure, by answering questions and talking it over; and stay positive as you both make plans to go separate ways.  Additionally, I would add that it is not nice or wise to “threaten” to break up with someone.  If there are problems, work through them or break up.  Also, always remember that threats of physical harm are serious and should not be ignored.  If you feel that your safety is at risk, take appropriate steps with other friends or family—or the police, if necessary.

The topic of adult lifestyles begins on page 264, including important information related to "hooking up" and online dating, is followed by a brief section on cohabitation—living together in a sexual relationship without being married.   Researchers have consistently determined that the influence of cohabitation on later marriage is either neutral or damaging, though more recent studies are looking more closely at these outcomes.  It is most likely that “serial” cohabiters as well as couples without a serious level of commitment may not sustain long and satisfying marriages.

The section on marriage and predictors of marital harmony offers insights that are meaningful and relevant. Years ago, I read an article that identified the “6 C’s of happy marriages”.   They are:  compatibility, chemistry, commitment, community, communication, and compassion.  On page 271, some of Gottman’s research on making marriage work is presented, followed by a brief discussion on intimate partner violence and parenthood.

One more quick topic: Regarding gender and communication, some have made a great distinction between rapport talk (females) and report talk (males).  Another way to say this in general (and overly simplistic and stereotypical) ways is:  “To him, talk is for information; for her, talk is for interaction.”