Chapter Eleven: Deciding about Children

Much of the information in this chapter may be review. It is still pertinent information, but we will likely not spend too much time with it. The chapter opens with some of the social and individual motivations for having children. A Gallup survey underscored the following reasons as possible motivations: recreating the experience of happiness in your childhood family; personal fulfillment; personal and family legacy; personal status; religious beliefs; and social expectations.

Whether a pregnancy is planned or not, the reactions of both partners to pregnancy can vary. Some of the responses include: planners (joint decision, shared excitement, and active discussion about the new child); acceptance-of-fate (couples are pleasantly surprised, though they had not planned the pregnancy); ambivalent couples (mixed feelings before and after conception and even well into the pregnancy): and yes-no couples (one partner may not want children, even late in the pregnancy).

The discussion of the number of children desired by people begins on page 211. The child-free option is becoming more prevalent. Some of the reasons couples choose to not have children include: personal fulfillment, career focus, economic costs of children, focus on the marriage, and persistent doubts about parenting skills.

The remainder of this chapter highlights important issues related to infertility, adoption and abortion. I encourage you to read through the material, even if it is just a review of material you have covered before.