Module 14 Personal Reflection: Life lessons from therapy...massage therapy

Though we are rarely paying attention, flight attendants have tried to tell us for years, “In the event of an emergency, please put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” That is good counsel. It is difficult to assist those around you who are afraid, panicking, gasping for life (in your aircraft cabin, your workplace, or your family), when you have already quit breathing. Effectively caring for yourself helps you effectively care for others. Self-care is one of the consistent themes we emphasize in the college classroom as students are preparing themselves, academically and professionally, to change the world for good.

One of my self-care measures is a regular therapeutic relaxation massage. In addition to the health benefits of relieving pain, reducing tension, increasing circulation to promote healing and recovery, boosting immunity, and counteracting all of the hours I spend sitting, I have received other life-enriching benefits. The lessons I have learned through massage have application when I get up from the table and relaxedly re-enter the world.

Just like teachers, not all massage therapists are identical in their level of preparation, experience, personal style, or professional delivery. Ben, my massage therapist for the past year, has a unique blend of scientific understanding, functional body movement expertise, a recognized competitive sports background, an academic emphasis in English and literature, and a graduate degree in education. Beyond all of that, he is a compassionate, trustworthy, and philosophically thoughtful individual who finds fulfillment in serving others. Even if I didn’t interact with him as a client, he is one of those people in the world who is good to be around and engage with in meaningful conversation. It is astounding how many complicated world problems we have solved in a matter of minutes.

Some people might call Ben a licensed massage therapist and movement specialist. I just call him a therapist. And there are several specific and transferable therapeutic insights I have gained from our sessions together. For example, beyond the obvious health benefits of healing touch, I have been reminded of the importance of stretching and being more flexible. He has encouraged me to breathe through the occasional discomfort as we coax the joints and muscles to cooperate. He has urged me to take personal responsibility for my body, providing exercises for me and subtly suggesting that the adjustable height desk in my office would be more helpful to my health if I adjusted the height once in a while. I have been reminded that I don’t always know the precise site of my pain. I may point out what I believe to be a pain in the neck, but he knows that the real source may be somewhere else.

Another area of insight and instruction relates to the importance of “checking in.” When Ben asks me how I am feeling, I know he wants to know. This is not the casual, maybe-interested/maybe-not “how are you?” we exchange with people we pass in the hallway or on the sidewalk. He is asking me if there are any specific issues I am experiencing that he should be aware of. Are there any particular areas that need special focus and attention? As he is working with me on the treatment table, he will ask me, “How is that pressure? Are you comfortable?”. He knows that there may be times I want to talk and there may be times I want to be silent. He understands and honors my inclination. And finally, I can recall occasions when he is lifting my neck or positioning my arm in a new way and if he senses that I am tentative or tense, he will softly, soothingly say, “You can relax. I’ve got you.”

Freud’s couch has nothing on Ben’s table. And the life-giving therapy extends well beyond the treatment room, perhaps reminding us all of how we might bring our best, whole, and healthiest selves to every situation. For example, don’t be afraid to stretch. Test your limits and move in new directions. Being flexible, bending without breaking, is more beneficial than unalterable rigidity. When life brings pain or suffering, remember to breathe through it. While others may be helpful and encouraging, what we do with our lives, the decisions we make and the actions we take, is ultimately up to us. But may we also remember that self-diagnosis is often wrong diagnosis. It’s never a bad idea to get a good second opinion. And let us renew our resolve to sincerely check in with each other, sensitively asking how the other is feeling, and if we might be of assistance, offering timely encouragement, helpful words, and comfortable silence. Through the strength of our presence and the security of our support, may we always assure each other, “I am right here. It will be okay. You can relax. I’ve got you.”