Chapter Notes: Module 8

PSYC 200 Chapter Notes

 

 Chapter Five: Middle and Late Childhood (pages 181-193)

Please don’t skim lightly over this chapter!  It is packed with important and practical topics worthy of serious reflection.  The material on page 182 about self-understanding is very important. I especially appreciate Bandura's notion of self-efficacy (it certainly connects with later work by Carol Dweck related to fixed vs. growth mindset).   Self-efficacy is a key component of children having a “can do” attitude.  The work of John Gottman is also helpful in learning how to manage children’s emotions.  Gottman says that there are four basic parenting styles when it comes to handling our children’s emotions:  1.  Dismissing parents disregard, ignore or trivialize their children’s emotions.  2.  Disapproving parents are critical of their children’s displays of feelings and may even punish them for emotional outbursts.  3.  Laissez-faire parents accept their children’s emotions but fail to offer any guidance.  4.  Emotional-coaching parents are aware of their children’s emotions and use them as opportunities for teaching and encouraging.

I would add some additional points for parents to consider to help foster a healthy self-esteem:  watch what you say (children are very sensitive to parent’s words), be a positive role model, be spontaneous and affectionate with your child, give positive and accurate feedback, create a safe, nurturing home environment, and if you believe it is necessary, seek professional help.  Family therapists can help uncover underlying issues that may be preventing a child from feeling good about himself or herself.

Some of the material in this chapter reminds me that children are also on the receiving end of stress in life. They are not exempt nor necessarily protected from stressors that come their way.  Here are a few suggestions I often offer to help children deal with stress:  reduce noise levels in the home, allow adequate time for play, give permission to express feelings, utilize exercise and physical activities to help cope with stress, limit the amount of TV (because of information overload and emotion overload), avoid pushing a child to achieve beyond their potential, listen for comments that may be clues to anxiety, and laugh a lot together.

The work of Kohlberg and his moral dilemmas is well known in the area of moral development.  The chart on page 184 identifies his levels of development from the lowest level to the highest level.  Can you see where you might fall in that listing?  I would add to this material the four stages of faith development proposed by John Westerhoff.  They include:  experienced faith (when we are young, primarily we experience faith through our family members), affiliative faith (in adolescence, we join others, like youth groups to explore faith together), searching faith (often in early adulthood, when we question and doubt and rethink for ourselves if we believe our parent’s faith or not), and owned faith (when, because we took the risk to search and struggle, we come to our own personal beliefs and convictions).   Please note: you cannot get to an “owned” faith without first going through the searching phase. 

Relative to moral development, inductive discipline incorporates the true nature of discipline, which is teaching.  Inductive discipline is often compared with power-assertive discipline (spanking, withdrawal of privileges, threats of punishment or physical harm) and love withdrawal discipline (expressions of dislike or extreme disappointment, threats to leave children, adults refusing to speak or listen to children).  Clearly, inductive discipline is a positive approach to moral development.

The next few sections of the text cover issues related to friends and peers, bullying, family life tasks and topics, a brief section on lesbian and gay parenting, divorce, and blended families.  As I indicated in the opening paragraph, this chapter contains a lot of relevant and practical information.

 Adding just a few thoughts to the topic of bullying...If your child is being bullied, it is good to encourage them to:  hold their anger, never get physical or bully back, act brave, walk away and ignore the bully, use humor, tell an adult, and stay with a group of buddies.  If your child is the bully:  emphasize that bullying is a serious problem and will not be tolerated, teach your child to treat people who are different with respect and kindness, find out if your child’s friends are also bullying, praise appropriate behavior, and involve other adults, such as school staff.